


(are you) the one that I’ve been looking for

by Dino_andTiger_Fest, iwantchocopie (hyemiyah)



Category: EXO (Band), Jeux D'Enfants | Love Me If You Dare (2003)
Genre: Bullying, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dino_andTiger_Fest/pseuds/Dino_andTiger_Fest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyemiyah/pseuds/iwantchocopie
Summary: Chanyeol didn’t know if he played the game to feel alive, or if he just needed Jongdae to do so.Love Me If You Dare/ Jeux D'Enfants au!





	(are you) the one that I’ve been looking for

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: #67
> 
> Author's note:   
> Dearest prompter,   
> I’m so sorry for all the liberties I took with your prompt. However, I sincerely hope you still enjoy this.   
> Thank you to the mods for being so understanding.   
> And thank you Y for looking over this at the last moment❤

 

 

 

_I think of you in motion and just how close you are getting.And how every little thing anticipates you._

 

 

 

Chanyeol would be lying if he said things started when Jongdae dared to kiss him and he—not being one to turn down a dare—obliged.

Even if the kiss was something Chanyeol had no idea he needed like he needed breathing. Like he needed dares to feel alive. Like he needed Jongdae to remind him why he was still alive. The kiss, unlike any other thing Chanyeol had experienced before, made Chanyeol feel.

A terrifying thought, but Chanyeol had dived, head first, as he did when he encountered scary things.

In all honesty, maybe everything started way back. Back when they were kids; when Jongdae was smaller and scrawnier, and the entire class had decided to bully him for the simple fact that he came from a poor family and lived in the outskirt of the city.  
It had been amusing to Chanyeol at first, but there was something in Jongdae's eyes. He had never cried, had never even uttered a single word of protest. Instead he had carried himself with a dignity soon Chanyeol began to admire and respect. If he were in Jongdae's shoes he'd probably beg his parents to let him stay home instead of going to school and experience the kind of hell Jongdae perennially went through.

Maybe that was where it began; when Chanyeol started noticing his classmates' pranks getting more and crueller. When Jongdae kept coming to class to find his books torn apart and his notebooks filled with disgusting, angry words. For ten-year old Chanyeol, that was going too far. It was one thing to whisper and give Jongdae the cold shoulder, and another to mess up his school supplies. They all knew Jongdae's family didn't have enough money to buy new ones.

So as Jongdae gathered his stuff with gritted teeth, Chanyeol pulled down his pants and walked around, peeing on everything he could. It was a riot, after that. The girls were covering their eyes, some were also screaming. The boys could only stare at him with a mix or horror and disbelief. But when Chanyeol looked at Jongdae, he found he was watching him, amused. His eyes crinkling into crescents and a glorious smile, one Chanyeol had never seen before. The things he would do—the things he did, the things he does, the things he will do—only to see that smile again.

Jongdae burst into laughter then. If Chanyeol thought his smile was enough to elate him, he could have never anticipated what his laughter could do to him. He decided, right then, that he would live to make Jongdae laugh.

If he could’ve made a living out of it, he'd have gladly done it.

He suddenly remembered something his mum had told him one night as she was tucking him to bed—his dad disapproved of this, stating Chanyeol was not a baby any more, and that his body shouldn't be the only thing growing, that he also had to grow up. She had often played a game, when she was a child, a game of dares.

"Your turn," was all Chanyeol told Jongdae while he was being escorted to the principal's office. He tossed Jongdae his lucky coin, the one his mum had secretly put into Chanyeol's coat pocket as she kissed him goodbye that morning. She always did things like that. Chanyeol adored her.

Jongdae gracefully caught the coin and nodded to Chanyeol. He was still smiling, and that made Chanyeol smile, too, even if he knew he was in trouble. It was worthy; that smile of Jongdae was worth anything.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

Something like a secret pact was formed after that. Chanyeol dared Jongdae to recite a series of obscenities the next time he was called in class. And Jongdae had. Spectacularly. If most of the class had been keeping their distance from both of them and turned down their bullying a notch, this surely ended it.

They all stared with their mouths open, as Jongdae sputtered sexual nonsense, louder and louder. The teacher, flustered and desperate, tried to shut him up. Only to make things worse. There was no stopping Jongdae. Chanyeol laughed like a maniac. Then Jongdae turned around and gave Chanyeol back the coin as he yelled 'double penetration'.

The teacher was near to fainting. Soon, there were other teachers and Jongdae was being escorted out of the classroom and into the principal's office. All the while smiling that devastating smile of his.

That afternoon after school, Chanyeol came rushing home to tell his mother what happened. But Mum wasn't feeling very well, apparently. She was sleeping, and no matter how hard Chanyeol tried to wake her up. She wouldn't.

Dad took him out of the room and sat him on one of the kitchen counter chairs; one that was still too high for him to climb on his own. He dangled his feet as his dad sighed, tired and anxious and about to tell Chanyeol something he would never ever be able to take back.

Something that would make Chanyeol grow up. Something that would change Chanyeol's life forever.

"Mum's sick, Yeol-ah," Dad began. "She's going to be resting here at home. Please don't disturb her." He sounded desperate. It made Chanyeol pay attention to what he was saying.

"But she loves when I tell her about my day at school," Chanyeol reasoned. "If I let her rest tonight, will she be good tomorrow?"

Dad just sighed again, long and exhausted. "It's not as simple as that, son." He closed his eyes and, turning his back at Chanyeol, ran his fingers through his hair. Chanyeol waited, patiently, no longer dangling his feet. Dad turned back and leaned on the chair Chanyeol was sitting on so that they were at eye level. "Please, Chanyeol. I'm begging you. You need to stop with your antics, you can't be mum's little boy forever."

This made Chanyeol angry for some reason. He wasn't stupid; he knew his dad had always been jealous of his relationship with his mum. Dad was the one being unreasonable and selfish. And Chanyeol wanted to yell at his face, tell him to fuck off. That he only needed his mum, and his mum only needed him. That Dad had always been the outsider; the one who didn't—couldn't, wouldn't—understand them.

He wondered how someone like Mum could've married someone like Dad. Mum was like the sun, like a happy day at the beach, like a perfect song. Dad was stubborn and close-minded. He sat in front of the telly for hours while Chanyeol and Mum had picnics on their backyard or built a fortress of blankets so she could read Chanyeol her favourite stories.

"Yes, I can," was Chanyeol's answer. He started dangling his feet again, feeling victorious.

Dad grunted as he stood up, defeated. He poured himself a drink and sat in front of the telly, which was turned off. Chanyeol stared at the floor, now that he was left alone, he realised Dad hadn't helped him climb down, and it was a bit high up there. He resisted the urge to call his dad for help—since his mum was resting, probably from a cold or something—and climbed down on his own.

He wasn't the tallest boy in his class for nothing, after all.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

 

Jongdae didn't come to school for three days. Chanyeol was bored out of his mind, but at the same time he was impatient for whatever Jongdae had in store for him.

With Jongdae grounded and his mum still in bed and often too tired to talk to him for more than a couple of hours, he was bored out of his mind. Dad drank the nights away; he no longer tried to give Chanyeol 'the talk'. The feeling of victory still lingered on him like a summer tan that refused to leave.

The bullies stopped after they witnessed Jongdae's manic outburst in class. Probably thinking him mental, that he had some disease poor people got that could be contagious. It wasn't hard to imagine how their little minds worked. Chanyeol had had enough of people like them.

The next dare didn't come until they were both at Jongdae's big brother's wedding. Chanyeol kept the invitation a secret and told Dad he was going to his piano lessons instead. He sneaked one of his nice dinner shirts and black pants in his bag. Mum was asleep when he left. Lately, she was looking paler and weaker. Some cold she had. It was weird, because Chanyeol spent a lot of time with her, yet he didn't get whatever his mum had even if he was prone to catch sickness.

"When I grow up, I want to be a cream puff," Jongdae told him in secrecy. It was the first time Chanyeol saw Jongdae out of school. He looked nice, with his little tux and bow tie.

"A cream puff?" Chanyeol asked, he leaned closer to Jongdae and their knees were almost touching. It sent shivers down Chanyeol's spine. They were under the table with the wedding cake. Chanyeol had attended countless weddings, but this was the first time he had fun. There had been lots of kids at those weddings, but none of those kids were anything like Jongdae.

"They're tasty," Jongdae said, as if that would've explained everything. Chanyeol pondered the answer for a moment under Jongdae's scrutinising eyes. Suddenly, it all made sense. Chanyeol would eat Jongdae, if he were to ever become a cream puff. Tux and bow tie and all.

"Yeah," He agreed. "That's brilliant." Then he pulled the tablecloth, hard. Just when the newlyweds were about to cut the cake.

Did he know the dares were becoming more hurtful? He did. Did he know they were hurting a lot of people with their silly little game? He did. Did he know there were things they wouldn't be able to take back? He did.

But damn it all. Damn them all, because Jongdae was smiling, excitedly jumping up and down while the bride cried and Jongdae's older brother looked at Chanyeol with fire in his eyes. All Chanyeol could see was Jongdae being happy.

 

 

 

 

That evening, when Chanyeol got home after the wedding, Dad was waiting for him outside.

"There you are. It was about time." He looked awful. Bags and dark circles under his eyes. It must have been all the drinking. "Let's go!" He grabbed Chanyeol by the arm and dragged him to the car.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asked. If Mum was awake, he wanted to tell her about the wedding. She'd have to keep it a secret, too. But they had been sharing secrets for as long as Chanyeol remembered.

"Your mother's sick. I told you. We're going to the hospital to see her." When was Mum taken to the hospital?

Just this morning, Chanyeol had kissed her goodbye before going to the wedding. And she had looked fine, she had woken up and told Chanyeol to share whatever secret he had once he came back. She had probably smelled the gel in Chanyeol's hair.

"Why is she there?"

"She's sick, Chanyeol. How many times do you need me to tell you? She's sick" Suddenly, the dark circles under Dad's and the way he carried his exhausted body as he sat in front of the telly with a glass full of alcohol, were more apparent. Everything started to make sense in Chanyeol's head, and he hated it. He hated any reality in which his mother was dying because of a terrible disease in her body and his father was drinking himself to stupor so he didn't have to kill himself thinking about it.

Chanyeol didn't know which was worse.

No, he did know. He was the worst for not paying attention. For thinking only about himself when both of his parents were fading away in front of his eyes. His mother had been dying while he was wrecking a wedding. While he was laughing with Jongdae, thinking how nice it'd be to lick the cake frost off Jongdae's lovely cheek.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

Chanyeol's mum died on a Wednesday. The funeral was a quiet and proper ceremony, not much to Chanyeol's liking. So he dared Jongdae to sabotage it.

But sabotaging a funeral wasn't anything like sabotaging a wedding, or so people thought. All Chanyeol could look at that moment was Jongdae, standing on top of a near mausoleum and singing at the top of his lungs. It was a lovely tune, much more accordingly to Chanyeol's mother's tastes, and Jongdae had a very pleasant voice. Clear and powerful.

Soon, all hell broke loose. Some of his aunts started crying, his dad started yelling at Jongdae to shut it. The preacher, a poor old soul—so old, too old—was half deaf and kept on with the ceremony, as if everything were merry.

Except everything was not; it was chaos. Somehow Jongdae's voice drowned Chanyeol's dad shouts and the aunts loud sobbing. As Jongdae was escorted out of the cemetery with a triumphant smile, the preacher concluded his speech with an 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust'. But all Chanyeol could remember about that day, all Chanyeol wanted to remember about that day was Jongdae's vibrant voice; loud and clear and briskly amongst so many rooting corpses.

 

 

 

 

Later, when they were back home and it was getting dark outside, Dad, not knowing what to do with a broken heart and a world that would be devoid of his wife forever, called Jongdae's parents to ask them if he could stay the night keeping Chanyeol company.

Chanyeol could recall falling asleep that night with the smell of Jongdae's cheap shampoo surrounding him, and his quiet breathing at the back of his neck. And most of all, he remembered the awareness of having Jongdae's sleeping body next to him, keeping him warm.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

The rest of his time in high school was spent focusing on dares instead of focusing on subject. Chanyeol follows Jongdae—who still remained on the top of the class, despite Chanyeol's dares becoming more harmful—to college. Though it was most his dad's money's merit than Chanyeol's.

By the time they turned twenty, they were still sleeping on Chanyeol's bed. Childhood innocence still lingered in the air, but at the same time Chanyeol spent more time thinking about how soft and warm Jongdae's skin was. How cute he looked when he slept.

Sometimes, Jongdae's nightmares woke him up in the middle of the night, drops of sweat on his forehead and a lost look in his eyes. It had been Chanyeol's mum that had died, but it was Jongdae the one who got the bad dreams.

"Children can be such assholes." Was what Jongdae used to say after Chanyeol had wrapped his arms around him to calm him down; he didn't have to ask Jongdae anything else because he knew what he was talking about.

"You got the better part of the deal," Chanyeol said as he rubbed circles on Jongdae's back. And by part of the deal Chanyeol meant him. But in the end, the one who got the better part of the deal was him, because he got Jongdae.

He lost his mum, but he got Jongdae.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

The day the kiss happened, it started like almost every morning started: Jongdae's alarm going off and startling both of them awake. Chanyeol remained on his side of the bed as he watched Jongdae looking for his clothes and placing all of his stuff inside his backpack.

Most nights Chanyeol waited for Jongdae to fall asleep and then proceeded to scatter all of Jongdae's things all over his room.

Watching Jongdae move around his room as if it were his own was the best thing about waking up, besides waking up next to Jongdae.

"You need to stop doing this, we're not twelve anymore." Jongdae says tossing everything back into his backpack.

"You sure look twelve, you midget."

"Do people ever get tired of telling you you're an asshole?"

"You still love me."

"I'm going to be late for my presentation. Where's my chemistry book?"

Chanyeol tossed Jongdae the coin. "Go in your underwear."

"I have a presentation." A pause. A sigh. "Not everyone has a secure job after college, you know. I still need to work part-time just to pay tuition."

"Is that a no?"

Jongdae stopped rummaging through the room and turned to look at Chanyeol. "I could lose my scholarship."

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes at him. Jongdae didn't flinch, but there was something in his eyes lately, something that Chanyeol couldn't understand. It reminded him of his father telling him to grow up while he was oblivious about his mother being too sick to get out of the house. It made him uncomfortable so he looked away first.

"Fine," muttered Jongdae as he left the room wearing nothing but the white t-shirt he slept in and his boxers.

 

 

 

Chanyeol waited outside Jongdae's classroom while he gave his presentation in front of a stunned audience. There were people waiting to be called and Chanyeol sat next to a girl who was scribbling madly in a notebook.

"D-day, huh?"

But she kept on scribbling and ignored him.

"My best friend's in there. Did you see his legs? When we were in high school and we had P.E. the girls used to be jealous of his legs. Isn't it crazy? He's a guy for chrissakes. All hairy and shit."

"Sounds like you have a crush on him." She said without looking up. This made Chanyeol choke on his own spit, and that lead to a coughing fit. He was still flustered when he managed to calm himself down enough to reply.

"Shut up, I'm not gay."

"I didn't say you were gay. Just said you fancied your friend. It's no big deal, you know. Everyone is gay these days. Which is cool, I'm not judging." She finally looked up and found Chanyeol's eyes. She was pretty. Chanyeol had seen her around with her boyfriend, Kim Jongin, the infamous dance prodigy.

Jongdae stormed out of the room and made a disgruntled noise when he found what was going on outside. Chanyeol could feel the girl looking at both of them and then going back to her notes after rolling her eyes.

"So how did it go?"

"They wouldn't stop asking me where I had left my pants. They were actually more concerned about my fucking pants than about my presentation. I worked my ass off only to be made into a joke. Good times." He tossed the coin back at Chanyeol. "So, Jung Soojung, huh?"

"What? She's pretty."

Jongdae stopped walking to look Chanyeol in the eye. "Pretty, huh? Also taken, if you've forgotten."

"I haven't! Hey! We were just talking." Jongdae was tiny, but it was hard for Chanyeol to keep up with him when he was in a hurry. "Jesus, Jongdae. What's your problem?"

"I'll probably fail this presentation, which means I'll have to work even harder for the rest of the semester. And I don't know why I have to do that when I worked really fucking hard on this one."

"Whatever, you'll be fine. You were game."

Jongdae sounded tired when he said, "When will this end?" He stopped in his tracks, and this almost made Chanyeol bump into him. Jongdae had this unreadable expression, like sadness and frustration. Chanyeol often saw that in his father, too. He released a long breath. "Bang Jung Soojung. Bring me her notebook."

This made Chanyeol smile. "She’s famous for being unattainable. Nobody knows how that first year got into her pants."

"What makes you think she wasn't the one who got into his pants?" A pause. "Is that a no?"

"You know I'm game for anything."

"Then good luck."

"What do you want her notebook for though?"

"I'm done for if she nails this presentation, which she will because she's smart and even though I'm smarter, everyone was focusing on the fact that I wasn't wearing pants to notice my genius."

 

 

 

Chanyeol tried, but he didn't get to fuck Jung Soojung. Nevertheless, she was kind enough to help him with the dare once he spilled his guts out.

"Don't get me wrong, I just think your crush on your best friend is tragic. Things wouldn't have to be so complicated if you just told him, you know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Soojung studied him for a moment. Chanyeol was uncomfortable; it was as if she were looking straight into his soul, and that was scary.

"Whatever, keep on being pathetic." She handed Chanyeol her notebook. "I just feel bad for your friend. He doesn't deserve this, you know."

"Jongdae is always game," Chanyeol said as he eyed a random page. He wanted to avoid Soojung's gaze at all cost.

"I'm not talking about that stupid game you're playing. I'm talking about his feelings."

Jongdae's feelings? Sure, he was struggling with school and his part-time job, and for all Chanyeol knew, he was still living at his parents' flat. Not that he had ever set foot there; Jongdae had warned him to never go look for him there. But for the most part, Jongdae was happy, wasn't he? They had fun. The dares were no longer a game; they'd become part of their lives. It was how they were. How they rolled. People wouldn't understand. People never understood.

"Thank you for this," was all Chanyeol could say in response. Soojung just rolled her eyes and wave goodbye at him as she walked away.

 

 

 

Jongdae had the afternoon shift at the convenience store across campus. Chanyeol found him filling up the counters when he got there.

"Ahem," he said, showing Jongdae the notebook.

"Shut up!" was Jongdae's reaction. "You did not."

"Then how do you explain this?"

"Fuck! That poor first year..."

There was something about the way Jongdae was acting, Chanyeol could tell immediately. The way he took a step back, the way his eyes had become distant, sad. Chanyeol noticed, but he hated himself so he didn't say anything. Instead he carried on as if he had actually slept with Soojung.

"He'll live," Chanyeol said, and because he was hating himself extra hard on that particular day, he tossed the coin back to Jongdae and added. "Now it's your turn. You go bang him."

"What? I don't even know him!"

Chanyeol shrugged. "Are you game or not?"

"Fuck."

 

 

 

Soojung's boyfriend didn't take the dare as well as she did, so Jongdae got hurt in the process. It was bound to happen; this game they were playing was becoming dangerous. Playing with each other's feelings was one thing; playing with other people's feelings was an entirely different ordeal.

"Say you're sorry," Jongdae said. They were walking back home, though in opposite sidewalks.

"It's all part of the game. You don't expect everyone to be as cool as Soojung."

"Apologise!"

"It's not my fault your pick up lines suck."

Kim Jongin had grabbed Jongdae's arm in a wrestle hold and had ended up injuring Jongdae's wrist slightly. It wasn't broken, but it had left a nasty bruise. And by the way Jongdae walked, holding his bandaged left hand with his right one, it must have hurt.

"You know, not everything is this stupid game! I'm sick of this."

"What? Are you calling it quits?"

"Jesus, Chanyeol. Do you ever stop?" Jongdae crossed the street, then, and tried to grab the coin that Chanyeol was throwing into the air and catching back again. "Give me that!"

"I thought you were quitting." It was cute. Jongdae was so short. All Chanyeol had to do was lift his arm. Jongdae would never be able to take it from him.

"I said give me that!" They were getting closer and closer, soon all Chanyeol could breathe was Jongdae's scent, his cheap shampoo, the strawberry milk he had for lunch on his breath. He could see Jongdae's lovely high cheeks and his big eyes.

Unconsciously, Chanyeol put his arm down. Jongdae took advantage of this and grabbed the coin. They were still so close, if Chanyeol aligned his face so he wouldn't bump Jongdae's nose with his, he could easily lean in and kiss him. Suddenly, Jongdae was getting away from him and climbing onto the roof of a car.

"It's my turn now!”

The driver started shouting at Jongdae from inside the car. Chanyeol only had eyes, ears, hands for Jongdae. His everything was focusing only on Jongdae. So he climbed on top of the car, too.

"Kiss me." Jongdae asked, gently. Chanyeol obliged.

Jongdae tasted like childhood memories and strawberry milk. Chanyeol could hear someone cursing at them in the distance, or maybe it was not in the distance but actually close, who knew. All Chanyeol knew right then was that ever since his mum died, most of him died, too. The only thing that kept him alive for so long was Jongdae. And now, now he felt more alive than he had in years. He wanted this. He needed this.

The driver threatened to call the police so they climbed down and ran away, holding hands. They got to an alley and kept on kissing. It was full on making out by now. Chanyeol couldn't get enough of it.

"Love me," came Jongdae's voice. Soft and tender. Their foreheads were touching. Chanyeol wanted to stay like this forever.

"Is that a dare?"

Hurt and pain crossed Jongdae's eyes. "Is that what it was for you? A dare?"

"It wasn't?"

But Jongdae didn't answer. He just looked at Chanyeol for the longest time before he walked away.

Chanyeol would never forget the look on Jongdae's face. It was the same look he had after his nightmares. Lost, miserable. Chanyeol wanted to wrap his arms around him, but he realised he didn't deserve Jongdae. That he would always end up hurting him.

 

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

 

He doesn't see Jongdae after that. It's the longest time they've gone without speaking to each other. Chanyeol is sure this is hell. He feels so pathetic he has to get rides from his dad to get to college.

"This is a good thing," his dad starts. "That boy is nothing but trouble. You should focus on graduating from now on. It's a good thing that boy has finally left you alone. He's poison. If I had known from the start just how rotten he and his family are, I would've never let you two become close."

Chanyeol wants to laugh in his dad's face. He quit being a parent when Mum died. He just spends the days sitting on that couch in front of the telly, drinking his life away. He probably thinks Chanyeol is still twelve. He hasn't been paying attention to Chanyeol for so long he doesn't realise he's the poisonous one. That he's the one hurting Jongdae. That he's the one that's rotten.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You, dad. You're funny."

"What's so funny? You're still going to go after that asshole? You want to throw your life away with that silly game you two are playing? Who's going to feed you? Who's going to clothe you? You choose right now. If you go looking for him you're dead to me."

But Chanyeol didn't have to think too hard to make a choice. He threw open the car door at the next red light and ran away. What is his father talking about Chanyeol’s been dead to him since his mum died.

As he runs to Jongdae's flat. Chanyeol lets himself think about his mum. It's been a while.

Most of the time, when he thinks about her, he'd be laying on his bed with Jongdae. And he would tell him about her. He would tell Jongdae the same stories his mum used to tell him.

He suddenly remembers being nine and crying with his head on his bed and his mum taking her camera out and saying, 'Smile.'

He remembers him doing what she asked.

And the camera going, click, flash.

Every time he sees that picture, he gets goose-bumps. Because he can see the tears in his eyes, but his smile is genuine and real.

He wishes everything were simpler now. For his mum to say smile, and for him to do it. And actually mean it.

Jongdae's brother answers the door when he gets there. It's a tiny flat in one of those buildings where the occupants are constantly fighting with the local authorities to not be removed from there.

"What are you doing here?" Jongdae asks coldly. He gets out of the flat and closes the door behind him so Chanyeol can't see how many people are living there. All squeezed into that tiny space. Jongdae's brother's wife and their two kids, Jongdae's parents, probably a couple of his grandparents. Chanyeol imagines Jongdae curled up in a little corner, studying his ass off so he can get away from there.

It hurts Chanyeol more than he thought anything would, to realise how selfish he's been all this time, thinking only about dares and fun, when Jongdae was living so close to hell. He is the poison, not Jongdae.

"Jongdae, I-"

"I told you never to come here."

"I'll love you."

"Is that because of the dare? Fuck, Chanyeol, I told you I'm sick of it, I-"

"I love you! I do love you. I loved you. I will love you. I will never not love you. I've loved you ever since I saw you."

Jongdae is quiet for a while, he's looking at Chanyeol. Studying him. Probably coming to the conclusion that this is not the same Chanyeol that broke his heart a couple of weeks ago.

And because it's Jongdae. Because Jongdae has always loved Chanyeol unconditionally and has always stayed by his side even when all Chanyeol did was hurt him. People tend to hurt the ones that they love the most, or so his mum used to tell him. But he'll learn to treasure him from now on.

Because it's Jongdae, he says, "So what now? I don't think your dad is going to be pleased about this."

"Screw him," Chanyeol says, smiling. Click, flash. His mum would be proud of this smile of his. "Let's elope. Let's start a career in show business. You can sing and I'll play the piano. We'll conquer the world."

Jongdae smiles, too. Click, flash.

 

 

 

 

_”There were things I was game for that you never asked.”_

_“Like?”_

_“Eating ants, insulting the unemployed, loving you like crazy.”_

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> 1\. The title comes from (Are You) The One That I’ve Been Waiting For by Nick Drake and The Bad Seeds.


End file.
